There was a time when a “chair” was something that you sat upon, in today’s “PC” correct world it is used to describe the presiding officer or person in charge of a meeting, or organisation, definitely not someone employed to carry or wheel a person in a chair! Long ago in the “dark ages” this person, or “Chair” was called a chairman, if it was a woman in this office they would be addressed as “madam chairman”, no longer is this form of address used.
The Comic Relief telethon broadcast last weekend has received very a mixed reception as far as the viewing public and critics are concerned, generally it was considered to be very much below the standard of previous shows.
Hold onto your hats girls, particularly if you live in the Japanese City of Hodare, because this is where a 93 stone or 603 kilogram penis is waiting for you to ride upon, if you newly married! Before any of you get too excited the 7 foot monster is actually a wooden phallus which is part of an annual fertility festival and the monster penis is believed to bring fertility, good luck, and marital success.
German Discount Supermarket thought that it would be a good idea to provide some “own label” Monster Munch style crisps, and the customers also believed that it was good idea too, but what they got in the packet, left them disappointed and angry! The Aldi own label crisps are certainly cheaper, which is the reason so many mum’s with young children bought them, but some kids and their parents were in for a shock when it was found that when opened, the packets could often only contained as little as five “claws in the bag and for one mother, Rhian Green and her 13 year old son Bailey, just two crisps!
For those of a “certain age” a country named Myanmar may not mean an awful lot, but remind them that it is also known as Burma and the expression of bewilderment on their faces changes to immediate recognition.
We are aware that there is the human race and of course this can be classified into sub categories such as the African Race, the European Race, Chinese race and so on, but we have, until now that is, been completely unaware that a New Zealand woman believes that being fat is another race! Anyone watching the incredible performances of the New Zealand “All Blacks” rugby team will testify that these are seriously big men, but fat they are not and as far as we are aware, they manage to secure their seat belts when in a car.
Anyone who has read any of the Dennis Wheatley novels will remember “The Ka of Gifford Hillary” which is a horror/supernatural story series of events in which Gifford Hillary was killed by a ray gun invented by his scientist friend. This is when readers find out that his spirit, or Ka, leaves his body and tries to communicate with the real world. He has always been terrified of being buried alive and stated that the lid of the coffin should not be screwed down; that air holes should be bored in its ends and that the family vault should not be closed until one week after his coffin had been lowered into his grave. The story is fascinating and is a highly recommended read.
During the week of the 6th of February, the UK national broadcaster the BBC spent a large proportion of the 6 o’clock news to demonstrate that the A&E departments of hospitals, particularly in the English regions were at near breaking point. The reporters did not suggest why hospitals struggled with the huge numbers, and various people that were interviewed suggested that throwing more money at it would solve the problems!
This is not quite the thing to be expected from two pupils who attended the £11,440 Boarding per term, prestigious Cheltenham Ladies College, but then of course it was not pupils from this school that caused the story that appeared in the Gloucestershire Live report, neither was it two ex-pupils either, it is safe to say.
He went out in all innocence to get himself a few things from his local supermarket Zaragoza in north-east Spain including Nesquik, but he soon found out that he got much more than a popular Nestle product, he found a cool stash of cocaine! Fortunately for the shocked shopper, the class ‘A’ narcotic was not mixed in with the instant milkshake! What he did notice was that the lid of the large tub of Nesquik which he had bought appeared to be not snugly fitted, for a very good reason which became apparent when he opened the product. He soon found that there hidden among the sugary chocolate powder, was a 250g packet of the Class ‘A’ narcotic.
Well it is very unlikely that you would ask for this exactly when ordering your takeaway at Dominoes, which is one of the nation’s most famous takeaways, but it is possible that you may just get that, or even wedges bought from Aldi!