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Prison inmate campaigns for sex dolls for all male prisoners

Can you imagine the letter that “Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells” and similar correspondents to newspapers might have to say if the UK government allows prisoners to have “blow up” sex dolls in their prison cells? Mr, or could it have been Mrs or Miss Disgusted had an absolute “field day” when prisoners stopped the disgraceful “slopping out” procedure before WC’s were installed in all HMP cells; even more so when it was revealed to the “flog ‘em” brigade that colour televisions were not only in the main recreation areas, but in the cells of inmates; place is going to the dogs Colonel!

Well if Jack Swarez, who is serving time in HMP Lowdham Grange in Nottinghamshire, gets his wish he and his fellow inmates in other prisons will have a rubberised friend to while away the time, banged up together perhaps? Will it just be one to a cell with Samantha or Susan, or whatever they choose to call them, being shared around, or will it be one each?

According to Mr Swarez, there is a serious reason why he is calling for these new rubberised playmates to join him and others. He believes sex dolls could improve behaviour by helping pent-up men release testosterone and he says that it would not cost government a penny, because the inmates would buy them!

Mr Swarez is nothing if not serious in his proposal, he has written a piece in the prison website “Inside Time” relating that prisons are full of young men filled up with testosterone, who, not unnaturally, would give anything for a bit of passion. Naturally being completely frustrated they are restless and cause mischief! Swarez firmly believes that he has the answer to de-stressing all the prison establishments. There is another plus as well, because these dolls require blowing up manually inmates will exercise their lungs, which could help repair the damage that smoking has caused, so it looks as though they could be benefitting with two exercises it seems, a win-win situation perhaps.

Now not without a vivid imagination, Mr Swarez suggests that along with their rubberised friend, they could have a —wait for it, date night or two, watch the soaps together, and listen to music, just the thing that any normal, dare we say it, law abiding person and partner would do.

Oh well can we suggest that you do not hold your breath for too long Jack, but if you do get your wish, than to will be over to you Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells!

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